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“Love is patient, love is kind and envies no one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude, never selfish, not quick to take offence. There is nothing love cannot face, there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and endurance. In a world, there are three things that last forever: faith, hope, and love but the greatest of them all is love.”

1 Corinthians 13

I GIVE UP. I give up being that perfect person everyone expects me to be. I tried my best, it's not like I didn't put in effort to please the people around me. I wish I could be perfect but I was made with my own imperfections too. The pain.. it's excruciating, it's killing me mentally & emotionally. My heart's withering, I'm not meant to love someone, it's just too painful to do so. I tried to open my heart to you, start something different, something I never felt before. Maybe this is what love suppose to be, not like my other past(s), so childish and yet trying hard for a matured relationship. I really did love you, I'm still trying hard to hold on to you. But I'm falling into pieces, I can't pick myself up from where we started. You may say I have been carrying a fake smile for the past four months, but WHY, why did you promise me things that you can't keep? Are these empty promises or just plain mistakes. You told me your ex-girlfriend made empty promises and that's one of the reason why you broke up with her but you are making the same mistake too. I'm the fool alright? I admit, I do have my own weaknesses too. I can't easily let go of memories, I have a whole string of them. Especially when I asked you did you make promises to any other girls and you replied NO without giving it a careful thought?! But I have been keeping quiet, I do know more things than you think I have no clue about but like I said, I have my ways. You did promise other girls, its written on your own archives CLEARLY. It really hurts me, all I wanted was the truth, why are you running away from it? Why can't you tell me frankly how you felt, I just wanted to know. I know, maybe I am not as special as them or not good at doing all those sweet little things that most girls can do just to make their boyfriend(s) smile but I am trying, I really am. I feel crush-ed, it's terrible. You just left me in this terrible state. Joke, whats the point. Don't try to contact me or anything. I rather be alone, we both need time. That's what I thought initially but everythings' a mess right now. We shouldn't have met perhaps, I guess it was a silly mistake. You left and you expect me to clear up this mess and let go of this memories shared all by myself? How selfish can you get! I knew nobody could show me forever, NOBODY. I want to be alone now, I want to live my life just by myself with time on my side. I wanna leave everything behind and stop crying myself to sleep anymore, it's too painful. Fuck everything, really.

God, Tiffany should not have existed. It just makes others unhappy, others heartbroken and she's too useless. Why the hell am I doing on this earth? I can't make things right. No matter how hard I tried, I'm never gonna reach for that simple happiness, I'll never be that almost perfect girl everyone wants me to be. I'm just a burden in people's lives. I really want to disappear, maybe I'll just keep everything to myself, leave this place full of fucking memories, leave everything behind. I know, it's the perfect timing since I'm flying off on Friday morning. And when I'm back, I swear, I'll be fine. I'll be happy once again, I will. For now, fuck everything, fuck love. What is love, God can you give me an explanation? I really need you right now. I really want to feel your presence back again, you are the only one who will never leave me, never forsake me. You are the only Love Story I will ever cherish and believe in. No one can compare to your true love, no one. Give me a chance to make things right again to start a life with no regrets. I'm already starting to miss so many things right now, I miss muffin, I miss how she poses for pictures, how active and lively she can get, I wonder what's she's really doing now. Oh well, I miss the OLD you. I really do, can't help it, people change in a blink of an eye. You never knew what kind of person you were before, you were so cheerful, so loving, sweet, gentle and had a charisma no other boy would possess. But after today, I guess it's really true that I can't forget your past, I'm still not able to do so or maybe I just need time which you are not able to give me you even told it will hurt if we talk about your past. You mean you are still hurt? I really don't understand you. I'm not use to not being the FIRST. I'm always the FIRST in everything, I felt that my boyfriend's heart had always belonged to me cos most of them has never been in a relationship before, or even so, it was not a realistic one. I was their FIRST, but not for you. Whenever I ask you about them, you are always running away from the question, why is that so? You don't have to give me an answer, I am not fit to ask you for an explanation. Only you know the answer, only you. I'm sorry for all the bad times but I'm also thankful for all the good times too. Love, it's over-rated, it just don't make sense to me anymore. Please leave me alone, I really need time away from you, to forget you. It's hard, but at least I'll try, I'll try.

“Love is patient, love is kind and envies no one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude, never selfish, not quick to take offence. There is nothing love cannot face, there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and endurance. In a world, there are three things that last forever: faith, hope, and love but the greatest of them all is love.”

1 Corinthians 13

I GIVE UP. I give up being that perfect person everyone expects me to be. I tried my best, it's not like I didn't put in effort to please the people around me. I wish I could be perfect but I was made with my own imperfections too. The pain.. it's excruciating, it's killing me mentally & emotionally. My heart's withering, I'm not meant to love someone, it's just too painful to do so. I tried to open my heart to you, start something different, something I never felt before. Maybe this is what love suppose to be, not like my other past(s), so childish and yet trying hard for a matured relationship. I really did love you, I'm still trying hard to hold on to you. But I'm falling into pieces, I can't pick myself up from where we started. You may say I have been carrying a fake smile for the past four months, but WHY, why did you promise me things that you can't keep? Are these empty promises or just plain mistakes. You told me your ex-girlfriend made empty promises and that's one of the reason why you broke up with her but you are making the same mistake too. I'm the fool alright? I admit, I do have my own weaknesses too. I can't easily let go of memories, I have a whole string of them. Especially when I asked you did you make promises to any other girls and you replied NO without giving it a careful thought?! But I have been keeping quiet, I do know more things than you think I have no clue about but like I said, I have my ways. You did promise other girls, its written on your own archives CLEARLY. It really hurts me, all I wanted was the truth, why are you running away from it? Why can't you tell me frankly how you felt, I just wanted to know. I know, maybe I am not as special as them or not good at doing all those sweet little things that most girls can do just to make their boyfriend(s) smile but I am trying, I really am. I feel crush-ed, it's terrible. You just left me in this terrible state. Joke, whats the point. Don't try to contact me or anything. I rather be alone, we both need time. That's what I thought initially but everythings' a mess right now. We shouldn't have met perhaps, I guess it was a silly mistake. You left and you expect me to clear up this mess and let go of this memories shared all by myself? How selfish can you get! I knew nobody could show me forever, NOBODY. I want to be alone now, I want to live my life just by myself with time on my side. I wanna leave everything behind and stop crying myself to sleep anymore, it's too painful. Fuck everything, really.

God, Tiffany should not have existed. It just makes others unhappy, others heartbroken and she's too useless. Why the hell am I doing on this earth? I can't make things right. No matter how hard I tried, I'm never gonna reach for that simple happiness, I'll never be that almost perfect girl everyone wants me to be. I'm just a burden in people's lives. I really want to disappear, maybe I'll just keep everything to myself, leave this place full of fucking memories, leave everything behind. I know, it's the perfect timing since I'm flying off on Friday morning. And when I'm back, I swear, I'll be fine. I'll be happy once again, I will. For now, fuck everything, fuck love. What is love, God can you give me an explanation? I really need you right now. I really want to feel your presence back again, you are the only one who will never leave me, never forsake me. You are the only Love Story I will ever cherish and believe in. No one can compare to your true love, no one. Give me a chance to make things right again to start a life with no regrets. I'm already starting to miss so many things right now, I miss muffin, I miss how she poses for pictures, how active and lively she can get, I wonder what's she's really doing now. Oh well, I miss the OLD you. I really do, can't help it, people change in a blink of an eye. You never knew what kind of person you were before, you were so cheerful, so loving, sweet, gentle and had a charisma no other boy would possess. But after today, I guess it's really true that I can't forget your past, I'm still not able to do so or maybe I just need time which you are not able to give me you even told it will hurt if we talk about your past. You mean you are still hurt? I really don't understand you. I'm not use to not being the FIRST. I'm always the FIRST in everything, I felt that my boyfriend's heart had always belonged to me cos most of them has never been in a relationship before, or even so, it was not a realistic one. I was their FIRST, but not for you. Whenever I ask you about them, you are always running away from the question, why is that so? You don't have to give me an answer, I am not fit to ask you for an explanation. Only you know the answer, only you. I'm sorry for all the bad times but I'm also thankful for all the good times too. Love, it's over-rated, it just don't make sense to me anymore. Please leave me alone, I really need time away from you, to forget you. It's hard, but at least I'll try, I'll try.